40 Days of Purpose { day 23 }

I just finished reading a few things on Kate's wall. I feel like a failure and a bad friend because I haven't posted anything or changed my profile picture. The truth is I haven't been able to write and I'm not sure when I'll be able to. My heart breaks as I read things about her. I can't believe she is really gone. I miss her so much and it still feels surreal, I feel like I'm going to see her in a few weeks. 

Today I've been super grateful for rest. For getting sleep I again and not have to go to work -- it's been so nice. And when I read Heather's posts, I am amazed yet again at how amazing Kate truly was. Is. Saying was just doesn't feel right. Damn it Kate, why did you have to go? I have imagined different things happening in our friendship or in our lives, like one day getting a call that she had cancer or something else tragic happening to me or her, but I never -- never ever ever imagined something like this. I will never forget hearing the news for the first time, I just kept telling Ben, no no no, I don't believe it. As he relayed the conversation he had just had with Ryan. It feels like a nightmare we're all still waiting for to be over. 

{ written on my iphone }