40 Days of Purpose { day 14 }

Wow. Today's been a big day. Major breakthrough after a breakdown of sorrow and grief on a number of levels. Learning to be more honest with the God who sees me. 

This book is really transforming not only my life, but the lives of our small group members on ways that make me just amazed. 

"For I have seen and I know of your misery..." Words my Father spoke to several barren women in the bible that He spoke tenderly to me today. "For I see your pain and your misery."

And through crying to Him, allowing myself to feel the full range of emotions, feelings of unfairness I probably wouldn't have admitted a week ago, issues of being angry, sad, sorrowful, but mostly anger and knowing and resting in the fact that that is okay. And that that is waist you want. You want us to be completely honest with you with our hurt, our anger, our brokenness, our pain. 

Today turned around and you even gave me a glimpse of what is to come. 

That my time will be here before I know it, and just like with my love story, how you have me so much more than I could have ever imagined, gave me a story far greater than any I could have dream it conjure up -- the same will be true with the story of our family growing, me becoming a mom, having a child. Your timing is ALWAYS perfect, though knowing that doesn't always make it easier to wait. Yet, tonight I can rest in the safety and security of your arms and know that you see me, you are with me, you are for me, and you love me. 

Thank you for the heartache yet also the victory and breakthrough of today. I love you and I need you. 

I am abba's child. 

{ written on my iPhone }