speech(less)

Sometimes there are simply no words.

I burst into tears as "Our God is Greater" started playing just 30 minutes ago on my way home. The lady on the radio said, and tonight, I just want to hear some stories, of how great God has been in your life... And as the first few chords of the song started playing, I could feel the tears come with a rushing tide of emotion.

Yesterday, tears of sorrow, anguish, bitter agony and defeat. Devastation.

Today, tears of joy, gratitude, and awe. Hope. Peace.  Expectancy.

Again, I have tasted and I have seen,
the sheer magnitude and power of our God.

I burst into tears and continued to cry the entire way home just reeling from how good He is.

How powerful, how faithful, how incredible incredible incredible He is.

How He has met me in the depth of my pain, heartache, and disappointment.
How He has met me and been with me through it all.

Met me with His comfort, met me with His peace.
Met me with His presence, unfailing mercy and never-ending grace.

It simply is blowing my mind. As I was making a turn onto Providence tonight, this thought hit me as I was trying to wrap my mind at all that had happened and turned around in a day.

I have experienced and encountered the very hands,
the very feet, and the very BODY of CHRIST today...

And I have no words. No words to describe all that I feel and that I was able to celebrate and share in those tears and that precious time of celebrating the One who has been there with me through it all.

I saw the very body of Christ today. 

I felt it. I interacted with it. I experienced His hands. I experienced His feet. 

I nearly just encountered God as I have never seen or experienced before.
God in living color. God with skin-on. God in the flesh.

It hit me, as I was wondering how this all even happened so fast and so abundantly... as if He has hand-picked women called to walk this road with me. Placed in my life specifically for this time, and this season, and this journey.

Who are fighting for me, who are fighting alongside with me, and who are laying down their very lives for me. 

I was blown away that I could even matter that much. Be worth the time. Energy. Emotion. Not only that, wanted. Cared for. Desired. Pursued. They have shared in the grief. They have shared in the joy. And today, I experienced one of the most precious gifts. Of how we are going to get through this together. And I simply do not have words.

I have never felt more loved nor seen. By God and how He has done that also through others.

The God who hears me,

who has heard and who has held every single tear I have cried.

The One who yesterday, in all of its hell, bitterness, and sorrow, knew today the victory and joy I would be tasting after such crushing defeat.

Knew how He would continue to provide for me in all things.
Knew how He planned to speak to me through it all.

Yes, You are my Jehovah Jireh,

my God who sees me, 

my faithful God who provides.

Heals. Nourishes. Restores.

The One who says to my heart, hold on, for help is on the way,
and the One who's word never returns empty.

Into Your hands, I commit my spirit,

For You alone are God; You alone are good.

And my hope is in You all day long,

for You alone are God my Savior.

You alone will not abandon me to the grave.
Yes, Father, be glorified.

Yes, You are my God of great, great faithfulness.

You are my God of great, great love.