God knows our courage is limited.

These words brought so much relief to my soul.

From my NACR devotional a few days ago:

Trembling and bewildered, the women went out and fled from the tomb. They said nothing to anyone, because they were afraid. Mark 16:8

"The most reliable early manuscripts of the Gospel of Mark end with this verse. Mark's version of the Good News ends with this very high drama. Just at the point in the story where we might have expected to find rejoicing, we find fear. The women are afraid. Just at the point where we might have expected confidence, we find uncertainty. The women are bewildered. What a remarkable thing that the people chosen by God to be the first messengers of the Good News were too frightened and bewildered to speak! God chose to entrust the future of the Kingdom to people with limited courage.

God knows our courage is limited. He knows that fear can immobilize us. God does not shame us for being afraid. God has trusted people with this kind of limit in the past. God does not need us to have unshakable faith.

The women in this text did eventually speak. Courage was granted to them. Fears faced without shame will lose their power to immobilize us. God knows that fear is part of our human condition. Our fears do not keep God from entrusting us to be message bearers of Good News.

Thank you, Lord,
for entrusting the Kingdom
to the tired and traumatized.
Thank you for accepting me
and my limited courage.
Help me today to accept my limits, Lord.
Help me to give my fears to you. Amen."


Like I said, those words spoke LIFE into me... I mean...

God knows our courage is limited.

That was so powerful for me to realize. It is okay to be weak. I don't have to be strong. He is strong. Therefore, I am allowed to be weak and have Him be my strength.

And the best part about it, He already knows how weak I am. And, I love the part about God not shaming us because we are afraid and that He does not need us to have an unshakable faith. We're called to come as we are...

He already knows...

I have probably lived in more fear and chaos in the last few weeks off and on since I’ve start recovery than in a very long time

And it’s been really hard for me to get out there and raise support when I’ve felt immobilized by my fears and feelings of inadequacy stemming from my past.

It has been a time of deep healing and things have happened that caused me to take a break even from the internet and my blog because they cannot be shared except to those around me who have been a tremendous support in this journey. But I was really starting to feel like a failure in my job because I couldn’t bring myself out of the pit. I felt stuck and I lacked the courage I once had.

God knows our courage is limited.

Me and God have grown especially close in the last few weeks and I’ve been able to ask Him to speak into my situation and my life in ways I never thought I’d need. He did things today that I’ve been praying about for a while, restored my courage so I could get back out there and face the battles ahead. I only have to take it one day at a time.

God knows my courage is limited. I tried to make the most out of it today and took as much opportunity as I could.

He carried me.
The lord provides.
He is never late.
He is never forgetful.
He is more intimately aware of our situations and our needs and our fears and the things that hold us back then we are.

He is on our side.
He fights our fears and fights to give us courage to get back on our feet.
He is my Deliverer.