celebrating with psalm 16 {a song of prayer, a time of rejoicing}

"LORD, you alone are my portion and my cup;
you make my lot secure..."

CONTINUED FROM... "You alone are my portion and my cup."

This psalm has been speaking to my heart a TON lately.

And as I have asked myself why, I have found that it captures the state of my heart lately... a spirit of gratitude and joyful expectancy of the One who is greater. A place of encountering Him and His greatness in ways that I will never understand, encountering Him who is greater in every and all things, and as a result, my heart has been tuned to sing of Your mercy and grace.

And, aren't these children absolutely BEAUTIFUL???

Oh, my gosh, here is something that is stirred within my heart when I see, hear, read, or watch anything even remotely related to Africa. This stirring began several years ago when my heart first started burning for Africa and I cannot wait until that day comes when I will finally have the privilege of visiting this beauty land.

The stirring has continued especially in hearing more of Ben's experiences in his time there, watching various documentaries on Sudan that we have been watching a lot lately, and looking at photos, like this one, captured beautifully by one of his fellow co-workers, who I was able to meet the last time a bunch of the guys he was with in Sudan were all in St. Louis for the Urbana conference.

Me and this photographer hit it off, as my first words to him literally where, "Oh my gosh, I just have to tell you, once Ben showed me your pictures, I have been stalking your blog... your work is incredible, etc, etc." Come to find out we have something in common, we are both j-school alums from the one and one Missouri School of Journalism!!

As they say, all j-school grads are a part of the "Mizzou Mafia," anytime I meet someone who is also alumni, as it happened on this occasion, we start speaking an entirely different language as we relate our experiences and the roads it has now taken us on as other look on wondering what has just happened. I love it.

Anyway, this picture of some of the children in one of the cattle camps that both him and Ben were at just brings so much joy to my soul.

I couldn't think of any other picture more suited for this post and one of the things I love especially about all the photos of children in his photos, or seeing others' of children in Honduras or various parts of Africa, is that one of the first things that first struck me in Honduras...

(Which felt like home, what I feel going to Africa will be like that one blessed day I get to visit my homeland where my parents grew up), and with interacting with children at the shelter for domestic violence and sexual assault, and human trafficking that I worked at for a few years after college is...

a child is a child is a child.

This transcends all language, cultural, racial, and socio-economic barriers.

Underneath it all and despite what circumstances are surrounding them, the heart of the matter is, they are just children. Who laugh and play and run and smile and experience the fullness of life as they approach it with awe and wonder.

At the end of the day, they are just a kid. who wants to play. wants to laugh. wants to live with all they've got.

I soon found one of my biggest jobs (while working at the shelter) was simply to pick up the kids and hold them and love them. Let them know they were safe, let them know they were loved. As I am reminded of something one of my beloved close friend's, Jenni, would say as she shared her experiences in her two years in Burkina Faso when at age 17 she was put in charge of an orphanage shortly after her arrival,

"I just kissed the babies."

I found that to be true in my time at the Shelter. My job apart from the crisis intervention, hotlines, and assisting with the legal processes of restraining orders and ex parte paperwork, scheduling and attending court dates, my job was simple. For the women, I found the biggest thing God was wanting me to do was to be a part of His work to restore dignity.

A thing so precious that had been trampled on and deeply marred. To restore that which was within them to that which it should be. With the children, it was, as Jenni said, to just kiss the babies. My heart would break at the depths of affection deficit so many of the children had.

My heart would break when I would reach out my hand to hug or to pick up a child and when the first thing, even as young as a year old, would flinch because they thought I was reaching out to hit them.

Nothing broke my heart more. That so many of those children had never had a loving embrace. And the only physical touch they had experienced to that point had been abuse.

As I will never forget one time I took a bunch of kids out to the playground in the back and there was an 16-month-old that was playing with some of the other kids, and I was down at the basketball hoop just a few steps away. Somewhere in the course of the next five minutes, this baby got hurt.

But, she didn't cry. I didn't even hear or notice anything had happened until I saw her laying on the ground there in the wood chips.

What is she doing? What happened?

I will never forget the look of utter emptiness that was in her eyes.

She didn't even acknowledge or look at me when I came over, her eyes were glazed over as she just looked up, seemingly frozen in time.As I tried to comfort her and picked her up to hold her close to my chest, it was like picking up a rag doll, yet every single muscle in her body was flexed.

As I continued to hold her and rock her back and forth, slowly one by one I could feel her little muscles begin to relax in my arms.

It hit me, as I felt I was literally trying to bring her back to life...
She had learned to not cry anymore.

Instead of crying when she was hurt or hungry or needed a diaper change, she just lay there.

Because no one ever, ever came, so somewhere along the way, she learned it wasn't even worth it anymore.

As I realized what was going on and recalled all I remember reading in her family's file, the word, "neglect," from the state case worker pierced my heart again and again.

Sadly, this wasn't the only child like that, yet I found what God was calling me to do was simply to hug and hold and kiss the babies. And play with them.

The summers would always be a rough time at the Shelter because the kids want to get out and play in the backyard, but they aren't allowed unless accompanied by their mother, who was usually at work, or so emotionally and physically drained from the rigorous process they were going through to be free and find safety for them and their children, that playing outside was the last thing on their minds.

Yet, they are just kids. Kids are some of my favorite people in the world, for they have taught me so much about what really matters.

I love being around kids because you get to be a kid again, as Jenni also recently shared with me.

You get to focus on what really matters, the present moment.

To laugh with them, watch with delight as they take their first steps (as I had the privilege of watching my beloved Calvin do recently!!), have your heart and your soul soothed by the gleam in their eyes and the precious sound of their little giggles.

Wow, I was not even planning to write all that about the kids and it wasn't until the last minute when I decided to use that picture that all of this suddenly came out lol.

But, I think it came out because if there is anyone who has taught me about joy or what it means to rejoice, be in awe or wonder, it is children.

Children are truly some of our best teachers.

I am realizing, my heart feels like that of a little child when these moments and waves of joy and peace hit me, as they have in the last few days, the last weekend, and the last eight weeks, where my heart can do nothing else but celebrate and rejoice, at my God who is greater.

Psalm 16, a song of my prayers, a song of my rejoicing.

::

"Keep me safe, O God,
for in you I take refuge.

I say to the LORD, 'You are my Lord;
apart from you I have no good thing.'

… LORD, you have assigned me my portion and my cup;
you have made my lot secure.

The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places;
surely I have a delightful inheritance.

I will praise the LORD, who counsels me;
even at night my heart instructs me.
I keep my eyes always on the LORD.
With him at my right hand, I will not be shaken.

Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices;
my body also will rest secure,
because you will not abandon me to the realm of the dead,
nor will you let your faithful one see decay.

You make known to me the path of life;
you will fill me with joy in your presence,
with eternal pleasures at your right hand."

:: psalm 16:1-2, 5-11, NIV

--

Verses 6-11 in the ESV, because it is just too too good to pass up in this version also!

"The lines have fallen for me in pleasant places;
indeed, I have a beautiful inheritance.

I bless the LORD who gives me counsel;
in the night also my heart instructs me.

I have set the LORD always before me;
because he is at my right hand, I shall not be shaken.

Therefore my heart is glad, and my whole being rejoices;
my flesh also dwells secure.
For you will not abandon my soul to Sheol,
or let your holy one see corruption.

You make known to me the path of life;
in your presence there is fullness of joy;
at your right hand are pleasures forevermore."

:: psalm 16:6-11, ESV

::

TO BE CONTINUED IN... "You have made known to me the path of life."