the god who sees me.

You are the God who sees me.
The one who reminds me that I am never alone.

The one whose voice breaks through even the deepest of heartaches, the fiercest of storms, and the most dense morning fog that only muddles the confusion,

You are the God who sees me.

Who reminds me that I am seen. And I am known.
A truth I can only hear in the silence.
Tucked away.
Far from the noise of all that surrounds me.

A truth I can only hear from your heart to mine.

That though I feel abandoned and alone, that I am seen.
That though I feel unknown and unwanted, I am known and wanted.
That though I feel unlovable, I am loved.

These truths broke through my heart's search on Saturday. During a wilderness retreat for women at our church. It couldn't have come at a more perfect time.

It was the most perfect of storms.
I was in the midst of a move, signaling a transition of support systems and houses, of what once was, to what will be, of ushering in change, whether I was ready or not.
My heart was unsettled. And I felt more alone than ever.

But it was a strange feeling. I knew I would be okay, I just wanted to know how long this void would last. How long this season would be of not having the relationships again that I had just lost.

But in those moments in silence, after taking about an hour to first allow Him to quiet my soul,

I found those words being whispered to my heart,

you are not alone.

It's only in solitude and in the silence where we can be reminded of all that we are.

Ruth Haley Barton says, in solitude, we find we are more than we thought, but we are also less than we thought.

We are reminded of how much our Savior loves us, yet we are less because it is solitude, in resting, that we are reminded that we are not God. We are not the god of our own little universe.

Solitude pulls us back into reality. We come face to face with all that we are. All of our neediness, our limitations, our humannness, our frailty, our need for God.

And it is there we are most loved.

Tenderly and fiercely.

It was there I heard the words I so desperately needed to hear.
The truth that has formed the bedrock to the what I am choosing to believe in the midst of change,

That I am seen and I am known and I am deeply loved.
There wasn't much more that made more sense to me than ever.
Those three things were all my heart needed to move forward that day.
Those words breathed life into my soul and gave me hope.
Gave me strength to face the rest of the day, not anxious, but excited about the new and the change that was being ushered in
because i no longer was going, or feeling like i was going, alone.

You are the God who sees me.
You have heard my prayers and promise to never leave me or forsake me.

I can ground my hope in the promise of your word.
I can choose to trust your word over my feelings. Over my circumstances.
You give me strength to trust you even when I don't see.

You are the solid rock on which I stand.
You are the God who sees me.