everything i once held dear

EVERYTHING I ONCE HELD DEAR I COUNT IT ALL AS LOSS.

I find it interesting that in a season where it can seem so much was taken away, that instead of finding I have less, I have more.

That I am richer.
Not poorer.

Not WITHOUT, but WITH.

Having everything, yet possessing nothing, as Paul explains it.

There is a simplicity that has been brought into my life through this sickness. A simplicity that is refreshing. That has brought peace. A simplicity that has been nothing but a gift.

Life is much slower now, but fuller.

One of the biggest blessings along with simplicity, has been having the gift of time. More time to spend on things that really matter. More time to love and be loved. More time and more ways to share life and share His love with others, out of the abundance of this love I have received from God every moment of every day in this. Of a God who has been so good to me in this.

“But whatever were gains to me I now consider loss for the sake of Christ... because of the surpassing worth of knowing Jesus Christ my Lord...”

These words leaped from the page and straight into my heart as I've been pondering them the last couple weeks. Words that with everything in me, I can say, yes. That's exactly how I feel. That's exactly what this has been like.

That is exactly, what the Lord has done...

Paul says,

“But whatever were gains to me I now consider loss for the sake of Christ... because of the surpassing worth of knowing Jesus Christ my Lord..."

Why? For the surpassing worth of KNOWING Him... everything else pales in comparison... the surpassing worth... for the sake of none other than my Christ.

These words have been paramount to me lately.

In a time where it would seem I have nothing. I find I have everything. All that I need. And more.

Find that, I am blessed.

Something only His power and His grace can accomplish. That there would be more of Him and more of life revealed to me in this time.

Where the Lord is near. We are told, blessed are the poor in spirit, and I can say, yes, they truly are blessed, for the Lord is holding me so incredibly near. Showing up in ways each day that simply amaze me. Loving me and carrying me through.

There is no room for sympathy here. Pity has no place here.

What it seems I have lost, I have found.
Life as I once knew it may be gone, but life as I never knew has been found.
Resurrected. Transformed.

For in every death there is a resurrection.

And there has to be death before there can be new life.

"Blessed are the poor in spirit..." yes, I find sympathy almost confusing. While grief has its place and we are not able to escape the reality or fail to acknowledge the reality that we are still walking through a season of grief... but we have found, even in those deaths there can be rejoicing.

In our sorrows, there are joys that are so much sweeter.

In our grief, I have found that we can truly experience, taste and see a God who is GOOD, even when life isn't, as Matt Rogers says.

In our suffering, I found that there is incredible power and tremendous purpose in this season. Not just later, but now. A gift we can have and share now. And find that we are truly blessed. In our tears, in our struggles and our failures, in our moments of exasperation and losing hope, in the moments we feel like giving up, in our times we have held one another and clung to only the promises of our Lord, in our victories, in our moments of pressing on, in our laughter, in our moments of relief.

In all, joy or pain, we are blessed.

Blessed because there is a beauty in the mystery of our Lord and Savior that in any season, whether in plenty or in want, in sickness or in health, there is always more to Him, more to His love, His character, His ways, and more to life than we once knew.

Yes, for whatever I once considered gain, I count it all as loss... for the surpassing worth of knowing Jesus, my Christ, My Savior and Redeemer. Who lives. Is alive. Present. Who is here with me now. Whose light shines in this present darkness, and never fades.

::

“But whatever were gains to me I now consider loss for the sake of Christ.

What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage (those things that seemed to matter so much),

that I may gain Christ and be found in him.

Not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ-the righteousness that comes from God on the basis of faith.

I want to KNOW Christ – yes, to know the power of his resurrection and share in (participate in) his sufferings, becoming like him in his death.

Not that I have already attained all this, or have already arrived at my goal,

but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me... Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it.

But one thing I do: forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead,

I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

:: Philippians 3:7-10, 12-14

SAVIOR I COME, QUIET MY SOUL. REMEMBER REDEMPTION'S HILL WHERE YOUR BLOOD WAS SPILLED FOR MY RANSOM...EVERYTHING I ONCE HELD DEAR I COUNT IT ALL AS LOSS. LEAD ME TO THE CROSS WHERE YOUR LOVE POURED OUT. BRING ME TO MY KNEES, LORD I LAY ME DOWN. RID ME OF MYSELF, I BELONG TO YOU. O LEAD ME, LEAD ME TO THE CROSS. YOU WERE AS I, TEMPTED AND TRIED, HUMAN. THE WORD BECAME FLESH, BORE MY SIN IN DEATH, NOW YOU'RE RISEN. TO YOUR HEART, LEAD ME TO YOUR HEART... Hillsong United, "Lead me to the Cross