I wish I could capture these women’s experiences. Their voices.
There are no little people. It bothers me how people get marginalized from society. I was describing what I've been learning "from the streets" to some girls recently when someone bluntly said, "What town are you living in?"
Exactly my point, I thought. But I couldn't even say a word. I knew what I would've said would not have been pretty.
They are the people you do not see. Choose not to see. But they are here.
There is something precious and beautiful about the minority experience and those on the margins. A richness of life rarely seen. Rich in the sense that they know what life is really about. They are raw and they are real.
Especially the average lower income, single mom, trying to put herself through school, working 2-3 jobs, and trying to raise two boys.
Nothing short of heroes.
I LOVE our house of women right now.
SO much fun. SOOO much personality.
We couldn’t stop laughing.
I think this is why people are so interesting. Different dynamics totally change an atmosphere.
She’s got the deepest southern drawl I’ve heard, then the way she turns her head, puts her hand on her hips, purses her lips and gets her finger out… “GURRRLLL..” lol. I love it.
Then, a hairdresser who comes once a month came in with her doll baby, who I'm calling *Sarah, a little Hispanic girl who is three.
She was cutting all the little boys hair and my little southern belle, who has since been prancing around the house…
Then I get to sit and chill with the little girls while the living room is converted into a barber salon. *Sarah who wouldn’t stop talking and then as I’m trying to get the other three year old girl in the room to know I’m safe.
We talked everything from Dora to how this little girl does her own hair. Not her mother who does hair for a living. And knows her shapes as she gave me all her lessons from preschool this week. Finally the shy one comes and crawls into my lap.
Her mom is hilarious. We’ve got more ghetto accents in the house than ever before… they were teaching me how to walk with swag in case I should ever need it. lol. SOOO funny.
It's funny that here and when I get around these women and people from these backgrounds, lower socio-economic class, minorities in a number of ways, another part of me comes to life. Like maybe a part of me that’s always been there, like I was made to live somewhere else.
I just broke the head off a crawfish. Now I’m legit, they said.
Where you from? I asked as they just returned from the store with pork ribs, crawfish and all these other delicacies in the kitchen I’ve never tasted…
"GURRLLL, I-55 South… I’m from Mis-sippi gurl… you ain’t tasted NOTHIN yet… I’m fin to cook you something real nice…"
I love it. Then as one of the ladies was getting her hair cut, I felt like I was in my hair place. Going to a black hair salon is the epitome of black culture. Every time I get my hair done, it is an experience to say the least.
Then they start talking about Michelle Obama lol. "MAN, she looks good," one of them said…
“GURL, she is like a Motions ad and some cocoa butter all wrapped in one… and you KNOW I can go through me a stick of cocoa butter. girl, you know.”
We were all rolling. Motions and cocoa butter are no stranger to the Black community.
Every time I’m here I’m reminded of this lost culture I so easily can assimilate into when I’m around it and it brings out different sides of me, but that I never lived. It makes me desire to be in the inner city more. And know I will absolutely thrive in that environment.
My love for these women is like they were my long lost sisters. Part of what I love about the house right now is we have Black, White, Chinese women here of various socio-economic backgrounds, but who are all committed to reconciling their differences and living in harmony with one another. Usually, we're constantly having to play the bad guy and break up fights among the women.
I just heard one of their life stories. Even just the sound of her voice, with a wisdom way beyond her ears. I hope I never forget her. She just moved her from St. Louis. and the way she talks and the definitive way in which she speaks makes me wish I had a tape recorder or that I could write about her life and share her story.
“It’s so peaceful here,” she said, “it’s nice just not to have someone constantly yelling at you all the time and so much better for my boys. you know, being in a college town now. I’m hoping it inspires them,” she says with a heavy sigh.
“You know cause black boys don’t look at college as something for them. But I want them to know they can do it.”
Then she told me about some of her dreams and how she’s working toward them now.
We all need hope. it’s the only thing pulling our souls forward, as mcmanus has said.
I always know in the first few days of a resident being here if they're going to make it. If they're going to fully recover. Are they willing to fight? Are they going to hold on to hope for dear life. We're not even talking about Christians here. But the hope we all believe in. That allows us to face another day whether we acknowledge there is a God or not.
It’s been a beautiful day here.
I love our women.
A much needed break and laughter from the stress of crisis and trauma normally surrounding this place. It's also nice because shifts like this are rare. Usually I hardly get to come interact with the residents like this because like last time, I had four women come in for emergency ex partes, three of which were extremely lethal situations requiring immediate action, law enforcement and high safety planning. The phone didn't stop ringing with crisis calls and I had three intakes (new residents) that walked up, were on the run, left everything behind including their mode of transportation.
The grief is still evident on their faces, yet it’s nice to see them smile again.
I realized another reason why I love being here. I can just give all my love away. people are attention deficient here. dying for love. its almost like being in an orphanage, where the only logical thing is to pick up babies and kiss them.
You feel their stress melting away in your embrace. I can just come and love on the kids and love on these women.
Remind them that they’re people too and they matter.
They're hungry for love. i can only give what has been given to me, an intense love from my God. What's funny is they teach me more about God. They are some of the most spiritual people I have ever met. Some of them won't even call themselves Christians but proclaim and know they have been saved by a God. They know they are not their own and their lives have been redeemed from the pit.
Beauty and goodness remind me as if we should need reminding that there is a God and He is good. A God who takes care of all of His children.
*Name changed to protect confidentiality.
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