From another blogger:
I cried when I was born and every day shows why – George Herbert.”
Our hearts beckon us towards romance and adventure. Music, art, literature have all portrayed and explored our inner lives, or its loss. For those of us who have lost the initial romance and adventure that our initial encounter with god brought us, it ends up haunting us. For me my haunting took on the form of tears flowing from a frightened girl who could find no meeting place between the life she found herself living and the needs of her own wounded heart that never felt the connection with mother and father so necessary to living with courage and hope.
There are arrows that pierce our hearts. Sometimes it’s the arrow from a father that never looked up from his newspaper when his son was trying to converse with him. Or maybe its an arrow that lodge in you when someone said to you ‘You don’t know much kid do you?’, or maybe it was the arrow when as a child you tried to console your wounded mother and she shunned you away when you put your hand on her shoulder and said to her ‘It will be alright’ and she responded ‘What do you know about life?’. Or maybe it was the wounding words of a parent or teacher saying ‘You won’t ever amount to much’.
At some point an arrow comes our way that finally entrenches itself so deep in our hearts that it delivers the final blow, and we vow to never be in a place of vulnerability again, and never allow our heart to make us reach out for love or the adventure we want.
As Brent Curtis says:
This is the story of our lives, in one way or another. The haunting of the Romance and the Message of the arrows are so radically different and they seem so mutually exclusive they split our hearts in two. In every way that the romance is full of beauty and wonder, the arrows are equally powerful in their ugliness and devastation. The romance seems to promise a life of wholeness through a deep connection with the great Heart behind the universe. The arrows deny it telling us, ‘You are on your own. There is no romance, no one strong and kind who is calling your to an exotic adventure.’
The arrows mock such naïveté, warning us ‘Just watch yourself – disaster is a moment away’.
The romance invites us to trust. The arrows intimidate us into self-reliance.
Our inner self whispers to us that we are someone special, that our heart is good because it is made of someone good, the arrows tell us we are a dime a dozen, worthless even dark and twisted and dirty.
So we try to manipulate our world and all the while watching our backs.
Our heart tells us ‘god is good, you can trust him’. But then we tell it ‘don’t ever let life out of your control’. We make ourselves believe that if we just didn’t want so much, we wouldn’t be so vulnerable. To loose hope has the same effect on our heart as it would be to stop breathing.”
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