"OUT OF THE ASHES, WE RISE..."
-- CONTINUED FROM... and still, like dust, we rise --
Heard two songs in a row on the way to my appointment today that could not have come on at the PERFECT time, as in what I shared in the previous post, as I realized as I again turned the radio up and belted out every line in the songs with all that was within me, that this once again happened to be true.
True not in the sense of the type of death I wrote about last night, but of a much different one, as I realized, knowing all the painful places my heart had been at various parts of yesterday and last night, to experience today, the type of day in which I am literally praising and thanking God for bringing me and us through yet another storm, I was reminded of this about the human condition and the human heart.
“In every death, there is also a resurrection.”
As once again my heart had been raised up to new life with Him today. My heart and my soul and my ears weary from my weeping. Not a drop I felt was left within me, yet I woke up and slowly entered more and more into this all too strange yet familiar peace.
New energy, new life, new wind beneath my wings, testimony again only to the power and magnitude of our God.
My songs of the day today that I cried out and sang along with everything in me. (And my fave lines that really resonated with my heart today):
OH, LISTEN TO SOUND OF THE HOPE THAT'S RISING UP... OVER YOUR OLD HORIZON, LISTEN TO THE SOUND, LISTEN TO THE SOUND OF A NEW BEGINNING, WHERE THE OLD IS ENDING... LISTEN TO SOUND, LISTEN TO THE SOUND... OOO OOO OOO... AMAZING GRACE, HOW SWEET THE SOUND... I ONCE WAS LOST, BUT NOW AM FOUND... OH LISTEN THE SOUND OF THE HOPE THAT'S RISING...
WHERE YOU GO, I'LL GO... WHERE YOU STAY, I'LL STAY... WHERE YOU MOVE, I'LL MOVE...I WILL FOLLOW YOU... WHO YOU LOVE, I'LL LOVE... WHO YOU SERVE, I'LL SERVE, IF THIS LIFE I LOSE... I WILL FOLLOW YOU... FOR IN YOU THERE'S LIFE EVERLASTING... IN YOU THERE'S FREEDOM FOR MY SOUL... WITH YOU THERE'S JOY... UNENDING JOY.... OHHHH, I WILL FOLLOW...
I might have as well wrote out the whole song... OH, so good! I'll let Chris take it from here ;)
Alright, got to head out, exhausted but just had to write tonight but cutting myself off early. Got a full day ahead and it has been a busy afternoon and evening preparing and gearing up for battle as we've been entering this next leg of the journey over the last week and increasingly more so in the next few days and weeks.
Ben just filled up a new 3-inch binder a little more than halfway just with all the medical records, radiology reports, blood tests, and various other tests just from the last four weeks alone. PHEW! It has been a crazy month and last six weeks that is for SURE!
And apparently the trend of the floodgate of answers that began very early on in January, after MONTHS of no conclusive diagnoses and no definite answers, we have had MORE answers in this time than ever, which I do not find it to be non-coincidental that we've always had more people joining us in prayer in these last six months, but let's just say, God HEARS and ANSWERS prayers. I mean, I hesitate even saying that because we all know He answers and hears our prayers all the time, even when we don't see any physical manifestation of results here on this side of heaven. But, let me tell you, He has been answer in ways we can see with our eyes as well as our hearts. The Lord hears every cry any of us make to Him, big or small, He cares about it all.
In the last week the count of the nine various possibilities that have been on the table increasingly since January, has now grown to 12.
After being able to update a few others, I hope to be able to begin posting health updates on here as I had intended on doing since the start of the year to ease the pressure of how much stressful sending emails about this can be, but it hasn't been something I have been able to do and the journey of the last six months I really needed to walk through this and lean on the support of my the people God has oh so GRACIOUSLY provided to walk this road with me and with us, so since there was so much happening and changing from week to week, for that period of time I said I would be able to email many of my close girlfriends once the semester was over and we were further along into a couple various treatment plans that seemed to be working.
So, long story short, I deeply VALUE and APPRECIATE all of your prayers. You seriously have no idea. And I know many of you have asked and anted and update and that there are many who have been praying and serving us in this time that also would like updated, so I am feeling finally in a place to be able to do that and know that will be an easier way for me to keep people in the loop for those who want updated.
But, for now, please pray, we are filled with more hope than ever and feel the closest we have felt to cracking this case and I believe we have a few things in the fire that have come to light that are very near to the culprit, or the culprit behind all of this itself. Our recent prayer, “in hope against hope, we wait in hope for You.”
No matter what happens. Answers or no answers. Diagnosis or no diagnosis. We wait for Him and Him alone. He is our hope, we can trust Him. For He who has promised is faithful.
Father, without You, we could not stand.
You are our Jehovah Jireh,
Our God who provides.
Our God of great faithfulness,
Our God of great, great love.
::
Into the darkness, You SHINE
OPEN the eyes of the blind...
There's no one LIKE You...
No none like You...
Our God is greater, our God is stronger;
God You are HIGHER than any OTHER...
God You are HIGHER than any OTHER...
Our God is HEALER... awesome in POWER...
Our God... Our God...
- another chris tomlin fave i happen to sorta like :) words that could not be more fitting to wrap up this post, for He truly is greater.
