Got up this morning with a lot on my heart. A lot that I couldn't wait to even stay in bed another minute longer, something was calling, awakening my soul. Raising my heart from its slumber.
Side note, I was just reminded of this quote as I was typing a while ago, about how crazy it is in the times we find ourselves most broken are the times we find ourselves most alive.
"To be alive is to be broken... we are never more alive to life than when it hurts."
But alas, as I was saying, as I sit here feeling exhausted, yet I can't go back to sleep having experienced yet another encounter with Him that I cannot deny. I am reminded that the days and the time are short. And so because of this, I write.
And decide to let go of my shame and insecurities and trust Him.
I came on Facebook a bit ago in Ben's account so I could look up one of his old buddies from Samaritan's Purse (SP), one of his buddies during his time out there with SP. I have had a phrase and set of words, and a verse that I haven't been able to get out of my mind the last few weeks, got up this morning with the resolve to do a bit of research on it and was floored by what I saw.
I needed a photo, a way to illustrate and communicate the message of these verses, this saying and phrase that have almost become inextricably linked with my heart, part of the new ways in which I commune with, experience, and encounter God.
For whatever reason, God put Jimmie on my heart. He's also a fellow Missouri School of Journalism grad, he majored in photojournalism, and his pictures are just out of control.
Ben showed me a bunch of them when we were dating and then into the first few months of our engagement and then marriage, yet I haven't looked at them for a while and was glad to have found him on there.
The photo quality is lower than usual because he posted many of these in Sudan with limited data, internet and computer access, so he had to make the pictures small and it gets distorted a bit.
Anyway, getting back to this post. I needed something specific, a photo that could most accurately articulate what I see and feels when I think of this verse and set of words. I was remembering some pics of Jimmie's latter half of his time in Sudan, long after Ben and some of their other team members had returned to the states.
I ran into something entirely different than the post I was searching for images for, yet something that continued to stir and move my heart.
Ben and I share many things in common, one being: our love for Africa and the beautiful people who call that beloved continent Home.
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I featured some of these pics on my blog in the past, but never the stories. Here are some of the faces and stories of Sudan, captured by Freelance Photographer, Jimmie Presley:
"I interviewed these people photographed today on how LRA attacks in their villages changed their lives. One girl was abducted for four years and forced to be the wife of the fifth most senior soldier in the LRA. She witnessed continual murders of abducted children and adults attempting to escape or refusing to kill as ...part of their initiation. She was also continually beaten.
One woman fought off an LRA soldier after her two daughters were beaten to death. She now takes care of three of the four children of those daughters. One grandchild was beaten and left for dead but survived. However, the child later died from those injuries. The only reason she figures God kept her alive during the attack is so she could now take care of her grandchildren.
Another woman's husband was shot by the LRA near her and her daughter. He survived the initial attack but died on the way for help. And the young boy's father was also killed during an LRA attack. All of them now live in Maridi town for fear the LRA will return and because there is no military or police protection in their villages."
:: Photo and words in quotation by Jimmie Presley
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