50 days of transformation {day 1}

"God is passionate about you."

- 50 Days of Transformation is a devotional series created by Rick Warren and Saddleback Church. We had the pleasure of visiting there this weekend and while we can't attend Saddleback regularly since it is an hour away, we bought the 50 day journals and we're doing them together. God is in the midst of doing something big. Before we began the study, He began speaking, pushing, and prodding in many ways that also fall in line with the theme of being transformed. Grateful and thankful for my loving Father and Savior; the only One who has the power to change and transform me. Be glorified.

MLK Celebration :: Dr. Cheryl Sanders

Fuller was graced by greatness today. Had the pleasure of hearing this remarkable woman, Dr. Cheryl Sanders, speak today at Fuller Theological Seminary's MLK Celebration. Dr. Sanders is visiting from Washington D.C. as a part of Fuller's two-day MLK Celebration this week at the Pasadena campus. Finishing this post soon/writing more ;) Got interrupted mid-posting/going through photos :)

california :: a place called home.

I love Pasadena.

So I ran out of steam after writing way more than I thought was in me when I set out to write a post that was going to be mostly pictures. I'll pick up again tomorrow, I'm out of emotional and physical energy which is how I usually am once I've gotten home from the day, I usually don't have anything left to post or re-hash it all. But I must post something.

My city, my new, current and other home, Pasadena. City Hall looked so beautiful tonight. I feel grateful and blessed to get to live in this beautiful place however long or short we're here. Have a good night!

dec. 28 :: a beautiful day

Unfinished post from Sat. Dec. 28. I fell asleep before writing the rest of this as my body was exhausted from a full and busy day. Hopefully I will finish it later ;)

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Today was just a beautiful day. Refreshing for my heart, body, and soul. I'm finding more and more that even though we've been in Pasadena almost six months, I'm still struggling to find a way to keep up. Life continues to move faster than I'm able to keep up and I find that at the end of the day, despite taking millions of pictures on my camera or phone or experiencing things I was planning to write about or share, I'm all out of physical and emotional energy by the time it's all said and done.

So, for a time being I relieved myself of the pressure to try and document (publicly) the things happening in a day. A lot has been happening. But a lot of it is I'm just simply living and enjoying my life. It's been freeing in many ways to be able to just live in and enjoy the moment and not have to worry about what I'm going to say, what photos I'm going to post here and there, but to just take photos and enjoy the moment whether anyone else sees them or not. I've found that for me, the joy in taking pictures is in exactly that: taking pictures. I'm perfectly content snapping away till my fingers are about to go numb or my battery dies, and savoring the moment by getting to capture and look back on my camera or computer later.

But, I'm coming to a point where I am needing to push myself to try and find new ways to live and share my life in this new season and place. What I did before is no longer working for where I am now. It's been good for me to take a step back as I was able to focus and invest all my energy into being fully here, building relationships, and the start of several new journeys, but there is another part of me that was slowly dying. A part of me that needs to be writing, taking and posting some of the pics that share parts of my new world, a part of me that needs to continue to wrestle with the things that have brought me to take a step back from facebook and instagram much of the last three and a half months, wrestle with the issues, face insecurities and fears.

I'm pushing myself to write/post again because I know it's good for my heart. It's been good to allow my heart time and space and the protection it needed in the midst of our transition and it's also been good to wrestle with the barriers and things that have prevented me from posting and be obedient to the nudges and pushes from my Father about trusting Him with all I cannot control.

So, alas, I am trying again. Sharing the things from time to time that are some of what I'm experiencing out here on this new journey since we moved to California. Even just writing that last sentence it hit me anew how crazy it is that I'm even living in California right now, how crazy it is that we are even here. For as long as I can remember, I dreamed of living in Southern California. Crazy, long, funny story for later on how we ended up here, but every time I leave the house for a walk or am driving through downtown, or walk outside a store and see the gorgeousness all around me I am reminded that okay, THIS is why I feel this was a place that was on my heart for a reason. I feel totally at home here.

There are so many things about Pasadena and about California that feel like are ways God is directly communicating and speaking to me. Little things as well as large that serve as reminders of His presence, faithfulness, and love. Beauty that speaks to my heart in ways He knows would matter to me most; a multitude of things that make me want to enjoy every single moment of our short time here while Ben's in graduate school. I'm not even a student but started a new job a week after the quarter began and if our time here goes as fast as the last 10 weeks, I know the time we're picking up and moving again will be here before we know it.

So I am continuing to do what living with a chronic illness the last three and a half years has forced me to do: take things one day at a time. I'm savoring each and every moment that we have here in Pasadena. Being here for this short season is a blessing, a gift that I do not want to take for granted.

Today was a gift on many levels. I got up with the intention of making it to a thrift store before their early bird special ran out, and Ben ended up joining me...

Like I said, I ended up falling asleep before finishing this, it was two days ago but I have no idea what I was going to say after this, so I'm leaving this post unfinished for now ;) to be continued lol

- unedited photos I took from part of our day

life of the beloved

I ran into a series of things the other day, a series of old emails, photos, things I’d written a while back that were like getting glimpses into another life.

What happened next was entirely unexpected but something only God knew I needed. I was reminded of parts of me I had forgotten. It was incredibly healing and refreshing to get glimpses into another time and season in my life six years where much was changing, my life was in transition, and I was at the beginning of a new journey and season with God. A time much like the one I find myself in now.

One of the things I stumbled upon was something that pierced my heart just as much as it did the first time I read it years ago. A section from one of my favorite books, by one of my favorite authors, Henri Nouwen’s Life of the Beloved.

“…From the moment we claim the truth of being the Beloved, we are faced with the call to become who we are. Becoming the Beloved is the great spiritual journey we have to make.”

If there are was one concept, a few words or phrases that have impacted me the most and come to embody the journey God has had me on the last several years, they would be the journey of discovering and living out of the truth of my identity as the Beloved. Wholly and dearly loved. Abba’s Child.

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"Dear friend,

Being the Beloved is the origin and the fulfillment of the life of the Spirit. I say this because, as soon as we catch a glimpse of this truth, we are put on a journey in search of the fullness of that truth and we will not rest until we can rest in that truth… From the moment we claim the truth of being the Beloved, we are faced with the call to become who we are. Becoming the Beloved is the great spiritual journey we have to make. Augustine’s words: 'My soul is restless until it rests in you, O God,' capture well this journey. I know that the fact that I am always searching for God, always struggling to discover the fullness of Love, always yearning for the complete truth, tells me that I have already been given a taste of God, of Love and of Truth. I can only look for something that I have, to some degree, already found. How can I search for beauty and truth unless that beauty and truth are already known to me in the depth of my heart? It seems that all of us human beings have deep inner memories of the paradise we have lost. Maybe the word 'innocence' is better than the word 'paradise.' We were innocent before we started feeling guilty; we were in the light before we entered into the darkness; we were at home before we started to search for a home. Deep in the recesses of our minds and hearts there lies hidden the treasure we seek. We know its preciousness, and we know that it holds the gift we most desire: a life stronger than death.”

:: Henri Nouwen, Life of the Beloved
:: Original photo without words courtesy of Pinterest

Adventures in Pasadena :: Day 118

glimpses of my new world, one day at a time
monday october 28, 2013 {day 118}

:: heritage walk townhomes near north madison and walnut

Moving to Southern California has been one non-stop adventure. We've been here exactly five months as of today and I really don't know how. In some ways it feels like we just got here, in other ways it feels like we have been here for years. So much life, change, and transition has occurred during that short time period, the time and the days keep slipping like sand between my fingers, I keep waiting for time and life to slow down, but I'm finding that perhaps this is also a part of the new normal.

And for that reason, one of the ways I'm going to continue to process and share what I've been seeing, feeling, and experiencing is through pictures. Glimpses of life here in Pasadena one moment, one day at a time. I started collecting all the photos I've taken since we got here in a folder on my computer where each day has it's own folder. I started numbering them, starting with Day 1, Wednesday July 3rd, the day we arrived in Pasadena.

I haven't uploaded all the millions of photos I've taken into their little folders yet, and some days I didn't take any pics, but for the ones I have and the days that have been experiences that were memorable and I'd like to remember and share, I'm going to begin posting peeks from my new world on here.

Starting with one of my favorite places and views here in Pasadena, one just a few steps away from our apartment. When we first moved here, we didn't have a car. So for two months, we walked everywhere and/or relied entirely on public transportation. This little stroll near El Molino Ave quickly became one of my favorites and still is. I walk near these apartments almost every day on my daily walks, I'm always surprised at how this view never gets old and the beauty takes my breath away every time.

First on deck, the beautiful apartments on El Molino Ave right near Fuller! Oh, one more thing. Architecture. Didn't know I was a fan, but I am. I have discovered a love and appreciated I never knew I had for architecture and Pasadena has no shortage of sights and architectural treasures that will take your breath away.

One of the things I love about these and other apartments near these ones is the Spanish-style architecture, old and modern elements. (Just did a little research, the style is called "Spanish Mission" architecture.) We got to see inside the courtyards to some other apartments like these one of the days we went on a Craigslist spree and went to pick up a bed and couch from a girl moving out of one of them and ohmylanta, I wish I'd had my phone or camera with me, it was out of control.

Here's a stroll down the street and around my new neighborhood on two gorgeous Pasadena days, days that were healing and refreshing for me in many ways as I went for a walk and took pics of my this spot I love while processing, Day 75: Sunday Sept. 14, the last day of Invisible Illness Awareness Week, and Day 118: Monday Oct. 28. I'm starting with just the few I took on Day 118, Day 75 will be coming soon!

I just can't get over this view. I'm always taken aback, one of the prettiest parts of our street.

It's also crazy to see this much green this time of year. I took more pics of these flowers my first time around, will be posting those as well soon.

Found an apartment listing for these, here's what they've got to say about them:

"This beautiful Heritage Walk town home is two flights of stairs above street level, so you are far removed from street level for privacy and serenity. This Spanish Mission architecture is Old Pasadena and Theater District adjacent for urban living at its best. This unit boasts many custom upgrades and features including a main bedroom suite and a shared patio off of the formal dining room. There is custom carpeting and hardwood flooring, built-in cabinetry, high ceilings, and spacious laundry room. The kitchen has wood cabinets & stainless steel appliances. Attached tandem garage for two autos and direct access to the entry hall. Heritage Walk is conveniently located between the South Lake shopping district, Paseo Colorado and Old Pasadena. It is walking distance to the Pasadena Playhouse district with Laemmle's Theater and Vromans Bookstore. Entertainment in town is cool with many near by restaurants and theaters."

This might seem normal, but I had to stop and take a picture of these leaves, the MOST fall colored leaves and the most I've ever seen all at one time here in SoCal! There really are no "seasons" here, so seeing leaves change color is a rarity. More trees started browning or turning into reds as November went on, but still this is a rare and beautiful sight. So gorgeous too on these sidewalks. Also whipped out my boots for the first time that day, totally fall all around!

Such a beautiful and refreshing day. Posting more days soon!

He knows that we are dust.

 

i don't know why but those words just brought so much comfort to my heart.
he knows that we are dust.

amen.