-- in God alone --

{verses speaking to my heart this week}

Truly my souls finds rest in

GOD ALONE...

my salvation comes from him.

{psalm 62:1}

{ you won't relent }

I really do not have words to describe all that has happened or all that I am feeling right now, yet this song, undoubtedly the theme song for our church's fall retreat this weekend, says it all.

A time so different for me than any of my other experiences at fall retreat in the past. Different because so much has happened, so much has changed in the last two years since I last went.

A reality that usually brings a tide of emotion-- sorrow, anguish, loss, grief. But, this time, one that only brought peace.

Peace and a joy emerging from a place deep within. A place where only God and I have been.

My mind recalled all the journeys and the worlds that have been traveled. The places He has taken me, the things that have broken me, brought me to my knees, made me new.

There is a time and season for everything.

Seasons that must come and go. Seasons where we weep, seasons where we rejoice; find that “God's goodness goes much deeper than pleasure and pain but embraces them both.”

Seasons where we find that He is loving. And He is good. No matter what. For not a moment has been wasted. Not a single heartache or tear.

Every fear, every defeat, every victory, every loss, every gain finds its place in you.
Every fear, every defeat, every victory, every loss, every gain was necessary.

For they have led me straight to You.

Where we find life had not been lost, but found.
And my God, my God, You have been with me, carried me through it all.

I just stood in awe. I stand in awe. At my God who is so faithful. My God who has promised. And spoken and called to me, held me in the darkness; who has spoken and called to me, held me in the light.

Changed me. Broken me. Healed me. Redeemed me.
Given me a new heart and a new life.

Our God who alone can make everything new.

::

Yes, You are my Jehovah Jireh.

My loving God who is good. Who is faithful.

My God who always provides.

{ I'll set You as a seal upon my heart }

I'll set You as a seal upon my heart

As a seal upon my arm

For there is love that is as strong as death

Jealousy demanding as the grave

And many waters cannot quench this love

Come be the fire inside of me

Come be the flame upon my heart

Come be the fire inside of me

Until You and I are one

You won't relent Until You have it all
My heart is Yours

[ Jesus Culture,
"You Won't Relent" ]

.:: all my fountains...

 ... are in you ::.
{ psalm 87:7 }

A flood for my soul
A well that never will run dry
I've rambled on my own
Never believing I would find
An everlasting stream
Your river carries me home
Let it flow, let it flow

Cannot get this verse or this song out of my mind still tonight though I wrote this earlier this afternoon:

Running short on time and had a bit of time at home and heading out the door again, but if I don't get something out, I will burst. Cannot even put into words all that I am feeling. These verses below, as well as this one above I ran into earlier that reminded me of this song I heard at a service at Woodcrest this summer, capture it more perfectly than I ever could.

The cry of my heart today. The cry of my heart of praise. A heart held safe in the hands of my loving God and Savior. A cry whether in my heartache and despair or in my abounding with joy and hope and feeling more loved, seen, known, valued, taken care of, fought for than ever that I feel now, yet a cry and a heart that is nevertheless, always received.

For, all my fountains, Lord, are in You...

"For you are their glory and their strength..."

:: psalm 89:17

"I give thanks to you, O Lord my God,

with my whole heart, and I will glorify your name forever.

:: psalm 86:12

"Teach me your way, O Lord, that I may rely on your faithfulness,
and walk in your truth."
:: psalm 86:11

"For you are great and do marvelous deeds;
You alone are God."

:: psalm 86:10

"As they make music they will sing,
'All my fountains are in you.' "

:: psalm 87:7

- photo courtesy of silverbox photography

{ psalm 86 } the god who sees

"For you are great and do marvelous deeds;
you alone are God."

:: psalm 86:10

The words of this psalm just one by one kept literally flying off the page when I read them earlier this afternoon. Words that captured the cry of my heart that I have not been able to give voice to or articulate or identify with in any other way.

Words that captured the full spectrum of the journey and way of the heart as He continues to lead me down the healing path. Mending, restoring, touching, healing, and transforming my feeble, weak and broken heart. 

A heart that has cried out to Him in the pit of despair, a heart that has cried out to Him in my moments of abounding joy and ceaseless praise and thanksgiving. A heart that has found a home in no other than our God who is a God who provides. Our God who is good. Who is faithful. Who will never leave our side.

The One who has been my Hope against hope.
The One whose promise alone gives me life.

You are my Jehovah Jireh,

my God of great faithfulness,

my God of unfailing love.

My God, who is a God who provides.

My God who sees, my God who hears,
my God, my God who is here.

I will praise your name forever.

For You alone are God.

You alone are good.

::

The words of psalm 86 were like water to my soul today. One by one, as I my eyes continued to land on them, something began happening in my heart.

I found they captured the full spectrum of all the places, hills and valleys my heart has been daily, monthly, over the course of the last year and a half, the times my heart in utter despair, hopelessness, and desperation, the cry of my heart in times where I am bursting with life, joy, hope, and ceaseless praise.

As I can still resonate and hear words Joni spoke earlier today, words that resonated deeply within,

"Our God is a personal God."

He has met me and heard my every cry out to Him. Met me in ways I could never explain. How amazing is your grace. Your grace that saves. That carries, sustains us. Brings us through hills and valleys and twists and turns, deserts, storms, and fires we should have never made it out of alive.

Yet, you save us.

You save and carry Your people farther than their feet could ever travel on their own. You sustain, lead, and guide, provide for your people in the wilderness, lead us to streams, life in abundance in a dry and weary land.

Our God who alone can turn our darkness into light, cause waters to gush forth in the desert, and provide sweet honey from a rock.

I praise you and I thank you and I thank you, Father.

For who you are. For all you have done. For all you are doing and have yet to do.

May Your wonders never cease.

::

"Incline your ear, O LORD, and answer me,
for I am poor and needy.

Preserve my life,
save your servant, who trusts in you—you are my God.
Be gracious to me, O Lord,
for to you do I cry all the day.

Gladden the soul of your servant,
for to you, O Lord, do I lift up my soul.

For you, O Lord, are good and forgiving,
abounding in steadfast love to all who call upon you.

Give ear, O LORD, to my prayer;
listen to my plea for grace.

In the day of my trouble I call upon you,
for you answer me.

There is none like you among the gods, O Lord,
nor are there any works like yours.

For you are great and do wondrous things;
you alone are God.

Teach me your way, O LORD,
that I may walk in your truth;
unite my heart to fear your name.

I give thanks to you, O Lord my God, with my whole heart,
and I will glorify your name forever.

For great is your steadfast love toward me;
you have delivered my soul from the depths of Sheol.

You, O Lord, are a God merciful and gracious,
slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness.

Turn to me and be gracious to me;
give your strength to your servant,

Show me a sign of your favor,
that those who hate me may see and be put to shame
because you, LORD, have helped me and comforted me."

 { psalm 86 }

- photo courtesy of lynsey tedesco photography

-- for you are their glory and their strength --

{ the last couple days and month captured in psalm }

"For you are their glory and their strength..."

"...For you are great and do marvelous deeds;

you alone are God."

"All my fountains, Lord,

are in you."

:: psalm 89:17, 86:10, 87:7

{ psalm 86 } The God of all Comfort and Peace

"You, O LORD, have helped me and comforted me.

I will praise your name forever.

Teach me your way, LORD,

that I may rely on your faithfulness;

Give me an undivided heart that I may fear your name. 
For great is your steadfast love toward me.

I give thanks to you, O LORD, my God, with my whole heart. 
And I will glorify your name forever."

{excerpts from psalm 86}