Pics that absolutely make me smile

Olivia with her kids in Burkina Faso. There is something about this pic and seeing her and the kids that brings me so much joy!

Some of my favorite people!!! Caught up with old LT buds, Rob Bergman and Takasha Smith, at Ignite last week. They are also now on staff with the GCM churches they were a part of in college. Rob is at Illinois State and Takasha or "TK" as we call her, is on staff with the Kent State church plant in Ohio. It was so good to see them and catch up, share stories of how we somehow all survived support raising and how life is going now. It was so so great. LOVE them!

A flickr steal, don't know who is in this one, but love it.



Bridesmaid dress shopping today with some of my girls! They look super cute. Hello, David's ad.



One of my old roommates, Shandy got married New Year's Eve. BEAUTIFUL!

Kate and I a couple weeks ago shopping for her dress when she was in town! We just happened to be reppin' Rock Bridge colors :)

These pics right here are SOOOO Shandy and Brad! This expression is one I recall vividly from living with Shandy, usually when I was still up at 3 am and on the computer in the living room when she'd come down to get a glass of water.

She looked stunning!

There are so many things I love about this pic. Maria looks absolutely beautiful. One of her friends is getting into photography and took wedding shots of her dress, even though she got married a couple years ago. Love the colors in this pic as well and the shoes.

Love it!

You Are

“Let us know Thee as Thou art, that we may adore Thee as we should. Through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.”

This morning I made a choice. This is a daily, sometimes multiple times a day, sometimes hourly choice, but it was a choice. A choice once again to surrender. To give my day to you. To give you all of me. To once again surrender my heart and my life to You, to once again acknowledge that I am Yours. That all I have is yours, all I have belongs to you, that I belong to You... and find delight in that belonging and delight again in giving You my heart and my life.

My proclamation, love song and ballad to you today. As you reminded me of the wonder and the glory of who You are and tuned my heart to sing your grace. Let us know Thee as Thou art… may we adore Thee…

You are wonderful.

:::

You are the open door to freedom, you are the only hope i have. the reason in my reason, the only thing that lasts.

how could i begin to settle
when all within me longs.
to step into the shelter
of your everlasting arms.

I wanna get carried away i wanna be tossed by your waves.
I don't care where or how deep, i'm gonna jump in with both feet
I wanna get carried away i wanna get lost in your waves
I wanna be held by your truth, i wanna behold all of you
I'm gonna be all yours today
I wanna get carried away

You are the wisdom of the ages, You are the one who stays the same The power in the wind, the scent left by the rain How could i begin to make it, if all i had was me Just take me as i am lord, and sweep me out to sea.

I wanna get carried away i wanna be tossed by your waves.
I don't care where or how deep, i'm gonna jump in with both feet
I wanna get carried away i wanna get lost in your waves
I wanna be held by your truth, i wanna behold all of you
I'm gonna be all yours today
I wanna get carried away

- Carried Away, SonicFlood

Pondering the sovereignty and the eternity of God

Words that poked and prodded at my heart this morning…

“God dwells in eternity but time dwells in God. He has already lived all our tomorrows as He has lived all our yesterdays.”

“He hath set eternity in their heart,” said the Preacher, and I think he here sets forth both the glory and the misery of men. To be made for eternity and forced to dwell in time is for mankind a tragedy of huge proportions. All within us cries for life and permanence, and everything around us reminds us of mortality and change. Yet that God has made us of the stuff of eternity is both a glory yet to be realized and a prophecy to be fulfilled.”

- Knowledge of the Holy by A.W. Tozer

the ring

"The beauty of the present world has something about it of the beauty of a chalice, beautiful in itself but more hauntingly beautiful in what we know it's meant to be filled with; or that of the violin, beautiful in itself but particularly because we know the music it's capable of. Another example might be the engagement ring, which is meant as it is to delight the eye but which is meant even more to delight the heart because of what it promises."

There couldn't have been three more controversial words in our dating period, than the words, "I love you." Or rather, the absence of those three words. You see, Ben and I had both came into the relationship with strong personal convictions, deeply rooted in our biblical understanding of God's views of marriage and the sacredness of the heart, that the words "I love you" should be accompanied with commitment. That, though few, those three words contain a potency that if used prematurely, they simply lose their meaning and can deeply wound.

In his book I, Isaac, Take Thee Rebekah, Ravi Zacharias notes that the word, love, "is probably one of the most used and abused epithets that mankind has ever pondered. It has brought peace to many and yet, misunderstood and distorted, has broken many."

One of the desires for our dating period was to honor God and each other as well as our community with how we dated, knowing that through our process of dating, the major question we were seeking to answer was, are we God's best for one another. And that, the dating process would still be successful even if we found the answer to that question being a no... and that one of the several ways we chose to honor one another and guard each other's hearts was an understanding that we would not say "I love you."

I remember when Ben first told me his personal convictions on this and why, and that he would not use the words "I love you" unless he was proposing, if the relationship went to that stage. Because he wanted me to know that "love" is not just a feeling, but a choice, a commitment, a decision. That love is not void of feelings, but is much deeper than feelings. That love ultimately is a choice, is an act of the will, and is a decision of commitment. I also felt strongly about this perspective and so we found peace in that. It is not "right" by any means, as issues like this are worth wrestling with personally, but this was a decision we both, and before the Lord felt was the best for us.

But let me tell you, when Ben did propose, and when I heard him say for the first time those three words, "I love you..." those were the only words I remember besides "Will you marry me." Those three words couldn't have been sweeter. There was so much power there I cannot even explain it. Even now the words hold so much meaning. Because I know we both mean it. We both refrained from using it even when we were feeling feelings of love or experiencing emotions or went through experiences together that drew us closer that made us want to save those words, but we saved them.

This has been one of the greatest blessings and taught me about the joy in waiting. As I look at the engagement ring, a symbol of a promise and a commitment, I see much more than a promise from a man I love, but I see evidence of promises made to me long long ago, evidences of God's relentless pursuit and choice of me all these years, evidences and reminders of His grace, evidences of the fact that I have been chosen, sought after, pursued, loved... my entire life by my Creator... who is now giving me to this man to be his wife, whom He is entrusting with my care. He is faithful. May we love you and seek you and serve you always, guide and protect us, let our love be a reflection of You.

closeups of the ring (after finally painting my nails :)

say yes to the dress!

I have a wedding dress! What better way to start off the year :)

After a pretty extensive search the last couple of weeks, we have a winner! I had SUCH a blast today and definitely my best experience in a bridal salon today and found THE dress! Kate and I had a full day planned for Saturday to hit up all the major bridal boutiques in St. Louis, but after today's appointment, there was no question about it, this one is it, no need to look any further :)

And don't worry, pics of the dress will not be finding their way on here or anywhere else online (sorry Ben lol.)

We're making progress and Ben and I are both really enjoying this time and want to enjoy every step of the way leading up to our wedding as we prepare for our marriage and our wedding day!

June 5th, here we come!

- photo of Melissa Worley's wedding gown, courtesy of Devine Studios

the colors

My wedding colors:

Aqua and Mango...
... with an assortment of ivorys as an accent.

The bridesmaids will wear aqua blue dresses, which just so happen to be the color of my favorite pair of tennis shoes and carry mango or peach/orange colored flowers!

fill our hearts with your compassion

Only You can mend the broken heart - And cause the blind to see - Erase complete the sinners past - And set the captives free - Only You can take the widows cry - And cause her heart to sing - Be a Father to the fatherless - Our Savior and our King - We will be Your hands, we will be Your feet We will run this race - On the darkest place, we will be Your light - We will be Your light...

prologue: thank you father. for you have done more in my heart in the last few days than i could have ever imagined. thank you for taking me 700 miles out of town to speak to tenderly yet so powerfully to some of the deepest places in my heart. thank you for your faithfulness. thank you for your amazing love for me. thank you for being my savior, lover, redeemer, lord, father. thank you for being my friend. thank you for being closer than my very breath. thank you for calling me to be yours, for calling me to fight for your kingdom, for rescuing me and coming to give me life.

one of two songs that are the most recent soundtracks of my life right now:

HILLSONG UNITED - SOLUTION

It is not a human right
To stare not fight
While broken nations dream
Open up our eyes, so blind
That we might find
The Mercy for the need

Singing, Hey now
Fill our hearts with your compassion
Hey now
As we hold to our confession
Yeah

It is not too far a cry
To much to try
To help the least of these
Politics will not decide
If we should rise
And be your hands and feet

Singing, Hey now
Fill our hearts with your compassion
Hey Now
As we hold to our confession


God be the solution
We will be Your hands and be Your feet.
Yeah, yeah

Higher than a circumstance
Your promise stands
Your love for all to see
Higher than protest line and dollar signs
Your love is all we need

Only You can mend the broken heart
And cause the blind to see
Erase complete the sinners past
And set the captives free
Only You can take the widows cry
And cause her heart to sing
Be a Father to the fatherless
Our Savior and our King
We will be Your hands, we will be Your feet
We will run this race
On the darkest place, we will be Your light
We will be Your light

We will be Your hands , we will be Your feet
We will run this race for the least of these
In the darkest place, we will be your light
We will be your light
We'll sing

God be the solution
We will be Your hands and be Your feet.

We will run we will run
We will run with the solution

We will be Your hands we will be Your feet
We will run this race for the least of these
In the darkest place we will be Your light
We will be Your light
We sing