Flowers from Haiti!

My fiance’ is a stud.

He is seriously amazing and a gift in my life I thank God for everyday.

If anything has happened in the last month we’ve been apart, it is that we have realized through and through we are truly best friends.

God knew what He was doing when He brought us together, and though we have been miles apart and on separate journeys, we’ve traveled several miles together on the journey we’re on together as we are more united than ever and this time has only strengthened our faith, deepened our dependence on our Father and only served to strengthen our bond.

It was a risk worth taking. And the work He has been doing in and through Ben makes me all the more grateful that Ben was able to use the gifts he’s been given to help in the midst of this tragedy in Haiti.

We made a choice to trust and that choice was both a moment and a process. The way of trust is never easy, simple nor free of suffering, but if there is one thing I have learned fresh and anew again, it is the personal experience of the last few weeks of this truth that has been a comfort and a reality to my feeble soul,

The Lord is faithful and He takes such great care of His children.

He has a plan and His way, though it is not always easy, nor can we always fathom His designs, is perfect. Is good. Is the way that leads to life…

The Lord has been tender in leading me through a journey with Him in this last month that could not have happened any other way than the circumstances I’ve faced the last two months. He has been ushering me to greater depths of His heart and allowing me to walk in greater areas of freedom. Leading me to something more life-giving, more free...

He has been doing the same in Ben’s heart and life and stripping us both away from all that was familiar so that we could be found, alive and anew in His arms again.

I’ve been on a spiritual journey through the wilderness of my own soul yet again and in a place where only God could speak to me. This has been incredibly painful at times, yet it has been a journey that has breathed life into me again.

But this post is about this pretty amazing guy in my life right now, who sent me flowers all the way from Haiti for Valentine’s Day!!!

With him being in Haiti, I was not expecting ANYTHING on Feb. 14, even though I was kinda bummed we wouldn’t get to spend our first Valentine’s Day together. We were talking about it a few days before and even leading up to that day, it wasn’t really like I was sad because it wouldn’t be like last year, because I have spent every other Valentine's Day single, so I was used to doing something with friends that day or something!

But, God has blessed me with a man who totally speaks to my heart. I never said anything about being sad we couldn’t be together or alluded to the fact we couldn’t give each other gifts, it was just like anything else in the last month being apart, we knew it was sad not to be together but we were going to get through it, acknowledge reality, yet also accept our circumstances. It's not like I didn't understand, he was in Haiti after all!

Yet, that morning, I woke up and was thinking, you know wouldn’t it be cool if he sent me flowers online or something or coordinated something through his brother? But I immediately dismissed the thought and was like, Mazvita, you are being SO selfish, he is in Haiti, the last thing on his mind would be that and you know that he loves you, he tells you that and so many other amazing things everyday, this year is just a different scenario.

But, I’m so blessed to be with someone who knows all the little things that mean the world to me and make me feel like a million dollars.

We had a skype date planned and he called my phone a little bit before from his skype since I was still doing some things at home and told him I was packing up to leave.

After asking me a few questions about why I’m leaving and where I’m going, I tell him my roommates are all home and so I’m moving to campus to find somewhere quieter…

Then in walks Trotter bearing gifts!!! (Trotter is our friend and Ben’s roommate) Poor Trotter, he has been the delivery boy many a time for Ben when Ben wants to send me over surprises (they live about 1.5 minutes away, just up the street.)

Next thing I know, Trotter interrupts me as I’m finishing to do my hair with, holding out his hand with a dozen red roses and a wrapped gift, saying “Here, these are from Haiti.”

And with that, turns to leave lol.

I could not believe it! With everything that Ben has going on and in the 16 hour work days he’s been working and the intense emotional stress of everything in the environment he’s in, I was absolutely floored. I couldn't believe how he had coordinated with his brother and Trotter to go out and get me stuff for Valentine's Day and send it over during our date, so thoughtful and so sweet. (And I apparently ruined the plan cause he thought I would get on skype at my house and he'd be able to see my reaction when Trotter walked in!)

But it is things like this that he does all the time, small tokens of his love for me, that only communicate a much greater Love and that totally reflect the heart of God to me.

I am blessed to be with a man who loves me as I was created to be loved. In only ways that God knows, the ways that speak to my heart and the heart He created.

I always told girls to wait for a man who recognizes and treats you like the princess you truly are, for the princess God sees and loves, for a man who treats you like the precious jewel that you are and who cherishes you for who you are.

How did I get so blessed?

I’m blessed to be with a man who is not intimidated by my strength, yet encourages and calls me to become more of who I was created to be, who loves seeing me fully alive, who values me for who I am, who tells me I’m beautiful and how much he loves me all the time, who tells me how much better his life is with me in it, and who reminds me everyday as Jonalyn Grace Fincher says, that he needs me as a woman,

“His companionship reminds me of the many ways two can become one, and that I always offer something worth knowing to one man on earth. Through my husband’s eyes, I get daily reminders that a man needs a woman, not as a servant or helpers, not as a cook or a nurturer, not as a princess or a nag, but as a woman.”

I’m blessed to be marrying a man who understands and values marriage as a partnership and a lifelong choice to die for one another daily. That marriage is a choice to love yet strengthened in the daily choices of commitment and sacrifice. Some of which we have been tasting and experiencing in our engagement period and the trials and external situations that have affected us. Yet, He has pulled us through and we are more in love with our Father and have been drawn closer to one another.

We’ve had many a tearful skype date including the one last Sunday, on Valentine’s Day, as we’ve been realized more and more how blessed we are to have each other in our lives and that we truly are stronger together than apart.

God has brought us through. I have never been more in awe of His power and His might. Of the mysterious inner workings of grace and the sheer unrelenting facets of His unfailing love. A love that captures and consumes, a love that pursues, heals, restores. I feel only He will know the roads that have been traveled in my heart in the last month especially and the treasures I’ve found in the darkness. Only God will ever know the value of this time in the wilderness and the beauty in the things unseen. With so many difficult things going on, not only have those put our lives and our wedding in perspective, but these things have stolen my joy and excitement for my wedding. There have been days when planning a wedding or doing things I needed to get done for the wedding seemed simply trivial, I would find it hard to get excited about picking a design for our invitations or work on save the dates when I was surrounded by so much devastation in the lives of those around me - of walking with friends reeling from the effects of the pain of infidelity in their marriages to my own painful processing and how these events have affected me and surrendered my hope for marriage. Or the days when I was reeling from the effects of the pruning taking place in my own heart and the life that has had to be cut away, so there can be new again. Yet God is restoring my joy and my hope. And has been walking with me and reminding me that I am His Beloved and His child, in ways I will never be able to express. He's restored my sense of security in Him and given me a peace that can only come from Him. He is faithful; He is mighty to save. And now, I’m more excited than ever for what God has for our lives, to see Ben again and to spend these next few months with Ben preparing for our new life together and our wedding day!!!

Xoxo,
The soon-to-be-Mrs. Lewton