A brightly colored bird is safest when in flight.

My righteous one will live by faith. (Hebrews 10:38)

These words and this following excerpt set the course of my whole day. I don’t really follow the rules with dated devotionals because I like to skip ahead or like to go back. Since I read the one for today... yesterday, today I stumbled on March 10, but was the exact word God wanted me to hear today. I feel it captures more than I can express about the journey God's taken me on in the last month and a half. Our loving God is faithful; He is mighty to save.

"Often our feelings and emotions are mistakenly substituted for faith. Pleasurable emotions and deep, satisfying experiences are part of the Christian life, but they are not the essence of it. Trials, conflicts, battles, and testings lie along the way and are to be counted not as misfortunes but rather as a part of our necessary discipline.

In all of these various experiences, we are to rely on the indwelling of Christ in our hearts, regardless of our feelings, as we walk obediently before Him. And this is where many Christians get into trouble. They try to walk by feelings rather than by faith.

A believer once related that it seemed as if God had totally withdrawn Himself from her. His mercy seemed completely gone. Her loneliness lasted for six weeks, until the heavenly Lover seemed to say to her, “You have looked for Me in the outside world of emotions, yet al the while I have been waiting inside for you. Meet Me now in the inner chamber of your spirit, for I am there.”

Be sure to distinguish between the fact of God’s presence and the feeling of the fact. It is actually a wonderful thing when our souls feel lonely and deserted, as long as our faith can say, “I do not see You, Lord, nor do I feel Your presence, but I know for certain You are graciously here—exactly where I am and aware of my circumstances.” Remind yourself again and against with these words: “Lord, You are here. And though the bush before me does not seem to burn, it does burn. I will take the shoes from my feet, ‘for the place where [I am] standing is holy ground’” (Ex. 3:5). London Christian

Trust God’s Word and His power more than you trust your own feelings and experiences. Remember, your Rock is Christ, and it is the sea that ebbs and flows with the tides, not Him. Samuel Rutherford

Keep your eyes firmly fixed on the infinite greatness of Christ’s finished work and His righteousness. Look to Jesus and believe—look to Jesus and live! In fact, as you look to Him, unfurl your sails and bravely face the raging storms on the sea of life. Do not exhibit your distrust by staying in the security of the calm harbor or by sleeping comfortably through your life of ease. Do not allow your life and emotions to be tossed back and forth against each other like ships idly moored at port. The Christian life is not one of listless brooding over our emotions or slowly drifting our keel of faith through shallow water. Nor is it one of dragging our anchor of hope through the settling mud of the bay, as if we were afraid of encountering a healthy breeze.

Sail away! Spread your sail toward the storm and trust in Him who rules the raging seas. A brightly colored bird is safest when in flight. If its nest is near the ground or if it flies too low, it exposes itself to the hunter’s net of trap. In the same way, if we cower in the lowlands of feelings and emotions, we will find ourselves entangled in a thousand nets of doubt, despair, temptation, and unbelief. “How useless to spread a net in full view of all the birds!” (Prov. 1:17). “Put your hope in God” (Ps. 42:5). J.R. Macduff

When I cannot feel the faith of assurance, I live by the fact of God’s faithfulness." Matthew Henry

- Streams in the Desert, devotional

Restored

You have restored my soul.
You have filled me with joy in your presence.

You are encouraging my heart and filling my life with good things.
You have turned my mourning into dancing.
My tears into laughter and joy.
You have cleared a spacious place beneath my feet.

You are the rock I'm standing one.
The one who breathes life into my broken soul.

All my heart can say is thank you.

is that what you had said?

sometimes you just need some good laughs and good times with friends. i am blessed. friday was a wonderful day and for that i am truly grateful.

ghetttt-tttto

so this video has been swirling around our house, and all the sayings, it is hilarious. don't be offended. i feel i can post this cause i'm black lol.

but don't get crazy.

10 wedding bells a ringin’!

I have a lot to celebrate!

So, most people know that my closet is beginning to look a little bit like 27 dresses. But don’t worry I’m nowhere close to that yet.

I’ve actually gotten to be a part of friend’s weddings in several capacities other than being a bridesmaid. My favorite was getting to be wedding coordinator. So after all that, it’s not to be able to just go to a wedding and having no responsibility whatsover, which I’m excited about for this year! This post is the nerdy part of me that loves weddings and seeing God bring people together for his glory.

The record summer before this next year was summer 2007, where I was in 5 of the 7 weddings I was attending. Yikes. Luckily, at that point in time I was still working at David’s Bridal and managed to get discounts on my friends who picked bridesmaid dresses from there. The joke with my bosses was that I got the job that fall because all my friends were getting married.

EMbarrassin!

And as I’ve been trying to explain to some of the older women I’m around, the large number of weddings is partly due to being 24 years old and a lot of people get married 22-33, so it’s gonna happen a lot, the other large factor is being a part of a campus church.

I’ve been a part of The Rock for six years now and have seen the wave that happens. It’s usually every other year is a big wedding summer. So you guessed it, summer 2008 was pretty lean, so everyone’s getting hitched this summer!

Slightly related side note, the most recent engagement, Matt Boone and Erin Flener was really special for me. (The picture above is us girls after cleaning up from the proposal!) I’ve known Erin for about five years but we didn’t get to know each other until really last year when Matt was one of the leaders on my canvas group leadership team. Matt and I got to be close and he is truly a brother to me. It was cool being on the “guys” side of an engagement and being updated throughout the year when we would meet to talk about how he’s doing with being an equipper and life and to see how God has worked and led in their relationship. I remember when he told me he was starting to save for the ring. Or when he had told his parents she was the one, long before he ever told her. it’s been the little things like that that have been so much fun. Or when he gave me a huge hug after not seeing me while I’ve been gone support raising and then his eyes light up as he tells me he had the ring! When he asked last week if I could help with the proposal, it was so much fun. (and hard to keep it a secret lol, Nia and I had breakfast with Erin last Sunday morning after Matt asked us). Anyway, they were engaged Wednesday night and it was beautiful!!! Then, we had a surprise engagement party which is all the rage these days.

But here's a look at some of my friend's who are tying the knot!

1. December 21: Christine Grue and Jim Schofield. Christine is a dear friend of mine dating back to LT 2005. She’s a really awesome girl livin’ in the Twin Cities and goes to The Rock in Minnesota, home of the beloved pastor Mark Darling. Hoops, Bill, Ally and I are making the trek to Minnesota next week. Engaged last summer.

2. December 27: Jenna Highley and James Asher. Jenna and James are so cute! I’ve known Jenna for about three years through The Rock. We served on a canvas group equipping team a couple years ago and I’ve gotten to meet James at various occasions, usually Rock weddings :) The couple will be married in Kansas City. Engaged last winter.

3. February 14: Jenni Fox and Joel Rea. My roomie is getting married! Jenni and I have had the pleasure of not only working at David’s Bridal together and dealing with fussy brides and bridal parties, but sharing many Starbucks and Chipotle dates, oh and sharing a room together. She is my beloved sister and friend. This will be my first Marine wedding. But Joel’s not wearing the uniform. Wedding in CoMo at Jenni’s church, Christian Fellowship. Yes, they know the 14th happens to be Valentine's day, they didn't choose it for that reason, being in the military, getting away is a challenge and that's his next available break. Engaged this month.

4. March 7: Meredith Norfleet and Bob Burgio. Mere is the first of our girls to be getting married (Nia, Leah, Mere and I) we have a little thing the four of us. Usually this means the four of us are completely ridiculous when all together. Mere met Bob at the Vineyard church which she started attending in January and sparks flew! This will be a CoMo wedding. Engaged in September.

5. May 9: Melissa Molder and Ryan Worley. Now, I’ve known the two of them independently for five years and I am trying to figure out now how it didn’t happen earlier. Miss is one of my girls, she was in my first ever small group, which Breck led and we’ve shared a lot of life together. Ryan is top-knotch and truly has a heart for the Lord. Ryan is on staff with a new church in town, Karis and so Melissa will be transitioning to his church as they prepare for their new life together! They will be an unstoppable couple for the Kingdom and both have a passion and heart for the world. Wedding will be in the KC area. Engaged in October.

6. June: Aimee Paule and Chris Swift. Finally is all I have to say about this one! I totally called this back in their freshman year. I remember telling some of my friends that we thought Swifty liked the girl with a lot of eee’s in her name (cause we didn’t know if she actually said it like “Amy”). But seriously, it has been so cute seeing God bring them together. I am excited to get to still see them after the wedding, Aimee just got back from being in Honduras for three months and Chris and I will be on the same staff team with The Rock. I’m also excited to see what the Lord does with both of them, because together they will also be unstoppable for Christ. Wedding in CoMo either June or August. Engaged last July.

7. July: Erin Flener and Matt Boone. Okay, so maybe I should have saved the finally for this one. I’ve known since I first met Matt Boone last year this was the girl but they were waiting for him to get done with school. Well, finally he’s graduating in May and getting ready for Kentucky wedding! Flens has been dressing up every day for the last I don’t know how long, anticipating this proposal :). They are precious and God is truly at the center of this relationship. Engaged Wednesday.

8. Summer sometime: Andrew Schultz and Kirsten Novosel. Okay so I knew him as Andrew before he took on the name “Rocket.” But I met Andrew way back in the day when I found out he was the younger brother of Scott, who was at the time dating my friend Jessie. Scott and Jessie are now married, and Andrew and I got to be wedding party buds. He also has been a part of the Rock for several years and is now one of our worship leaders. Kirsten is super-cute, she goes to Crusade, and is a really amazing girl. They both also did ResLife together. Engaged last summer.

9. Summer sometime: James Peppers and Ashley Taylor. I knew something was up by the way he giddily responded to a text message when I rain into Mr. James at Kaldi’s. He proceeded to tell me there was a girl in his life and just by that conversation I knew this was the girl he’d marry. She is way cute and they’re both medical people, she’s in nursing school, he’s in med. School and they are so great for each other! I got to meet the little lady one time at The Crossing (where they met) and am so happy for them! James and I go way back to my freshman year at the Rock when I was the nerdy freshman and him and all my guy friends were sophomores and became my brothers. Engaged in November.

10. Summer sometime: Bethany Dornberger and Mario Soler. I’ve known Bethany for about four years, I met her during her freshman year through The Rock. Bethany and Mario are now the proud parents of the most adorable little guy and live in Florida. Yes, the wedding will be on the beach. Aka I really wish I could be there. Engaged last Spring.

I think that's all :) Congrats everyone!!!

I took you from the ends of the earth.

"But you, Israel, my servant,
Jacob, whom I have chosen,
You descendents of Abraham my friend,
I took you from the ends of the earth,
From its farthest corners I called you.

I said, ‘You are my servant’;
I have chosen you and have not rejected you.

So do not fear, for I am with you;
Do not be dismayed, for I am your God.

I will strengthen you and help you;
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."

[[Isaiah 41:8-10]]

God is faithful

I have realized the more I am away from campus how much I really have been living here on a mission in the last two years since I graduated.

I am like a kid learning how to make/have friends all over again. It is very rare that I have time to just spend that's "for me." I've been able to make sure I get time alone to recharge and make time to do things "for me" that are good to keep me healthy and connected to God, but I've realized I feel selfish when I just hang out with friends because it just doesn't happen often because they are few who still live here and the close friends I do have are new relationships.

It is rare I am around people my age or peers or get to just hang out with people. I’ve realized because so much of my time after work was devoted to ministry or Friday night activities or small groups, etc. while I still saw a couple girls here in town who are my age, my stage of life, hanging out, like on a Friday night, without missing any type of church activity or responsibility was something that never happens.

I’m learning how to hang out. And how to do life and do things that are just fun. No ministry involved. To just be wanted for me.

One of the things I knew would be a challenge with entering full-time campus ministry is the reality that it is campus ministry… the people I will constantly be around stay the same age, while I am getting older and older.

Your peers get fewer and fewer. Yes, I feel like many of the women that I’m in relationship with are able to “give back” to me and the older they get, mentoring becomes more and more of a two-way street, it is still different.

This is the cost of anyone entering campus ministry that is not a part of a community church or larger church body. It’s something I love, but the reality of this cost drastically affects your relationships.

As women, relationships are ultra-important.

The first summer after I graduated I had the first wave of people leave in my life and was here with still a good size number of my peers still here.

The second summer, 2007, it was like within 3 months, everyone close to me was gone within a flash. At the end of the summer I realized the 7 goodbyes took a toll and I was fearful about entering a new year working and serving as associate staff in our church and stepping into a new role as canvas group leader.

My pastor could not understand at first why there was so anxiety. It’s not like you’re going to be a lone, you’re surrounded by all these girls you’re ministering to and who love you and etc. but I told him, I needed just one best friend.

When I had said goodbye to 7 of my closest friends and one of my best friends, I just needed someone else who I could completely bare all to.

Well a little bit before that summer, a casual friendship with a girl named Jenni I met at David’s Bridal turned into a best friends thing. I still remember the conversation we had at Starbucks off Broadway by Ihop when it first opened.

I’m lonely. We both confessed.

She was still in her first year of re-entry from Africa and although we’re about the same age, she was just starting her sophomore year. After graduating high school, she spent 2 years doing mission work in an orphanage in Yako, Burkina Faso. We have so many similar heart passions, for the fatherless and women and desires to plant churches and women’s shelters/homes/orphanages for those in need.

We both needed each other and God had provided a great friendship. There was a spot opening up in our house that July (I had successfully married off another roommate), so JI broke one of my roles and decided to live with one of my best friends.

We not only have lived together about two years now, but have shared a room. The first set of girls I lived there with shared the downstairs master bedroom and me and Mary had our own rooms upstairs. It makes rent super-cheap and that was probably the best set of roommates I’ve ever had.

God has provided everything I need when I need it.

Our friendship has definitely been through a lot but we are stronger friends because of it.

I feel a lot of the roommate challenges I’ve had are only strengthening my future relationships.

I have learned more about myself and how I hurt people than I could have learned any other way. No one wants to hurt people, but when you’re in deep relationship with people whether it’s dating or marriage or church or friends or roommates, you are confronted often with things within yourself that need to change. The majority of the time no one is even confronting you, but god brings these things to the surface in ways you cannot deny.

But my roommates, especially Jenni, are a huge blessing in my life. These girls are running hard after the Lord and desire to please Him. They’re not and I’m not perfect. We see each other’s weaknesses in clear view. They see mine probably more clearly than even I would be comfortable with, but it is a beautiful, painful thing.

I’m learning how to balance life, work, friends, and home. I can’t use the excuse that I’m just not a homebody as a reason why I’m never there. I realized I feel like I’m wasting time when I’m at home, but as God’s been digging up a lot in my heart the last month, I am seeing how this affects not only others, but my relationship with God. I am learning and have made a concerted effort to be there more and to be home and do life with them more. We are all learning to accept how we’re all wired differently and our different jobs/lifestyles that affect being able to hang out more.

I’m almost in a culture shock whenever I find myself now in a group with people all my age. I’ve been experiencing this a lot in the support raising period as my new community has taken shape in various forms. Being either at Jenni’s home group things or women’s groups, I realize that I have been fully immersed in the college campus and I am truly a missionary there. I don't fit in on campus. So there is no illusion that I will have best friends there.

But I realized the last two Friday nights; it has been so great to get to hang out and be wanted and accepted just for me. I now have older women in my life and will continue to always have younger women in my life but peers are almost more appreciated because they are not as abundant.

Don’t get me wrong, I am eager to return back to campus and do Friday night things with the girls or with my church community, but I couldn’t remember the last time I was totally free to choose what I wanted to do on a Friday night.

And to just have fun and have my friends love on me. God has provided great close friends my age and while we don’t get to see each other that often when we do it is a riot. Mallory and Brian invited me to the gospel choir concert and I brought Jenni. It was amazing. We had such a good time. Then Jenni and I hung out with our friend Tyler. He’s our marine friend, best friend to Jenni’s almost-fiancé.

Yes, that’s right; I have kept up my record and have managed to marry off yet another roommate. I have already started grieving losing Jenni as a roommate/best friend living here, but am excited for her new adventures. I don’t want to start pulling away these next 7 months just to protect myself but to keep loving like she’s not leaving.

I realized it’s hard for me to “have fun.” I always feel like I should be doing something else. God is teaching me how to do this. And how to enjoy the people He’s put in my life as a gift.

I think the hardest thing for me to accept is that this will happen the rest of my life. Especially the rest of my 20s, friends will constantly be weaving in and out, this is just the nature of this stage of life.

The guy who preached last night at the concert kept saying these words, but God is faith-ful. God is FAITH-FUL. And I can still here the inflection in his voice as he proclaimed these words… it was coming from a place of so much conviction and straight from the soul.

These were the words of someone who knew what it was like to see God come through when you had just about given up on God, when you were not faithful, but were met with his unrelenting pursuit.

God is faithful.

(photo by Mallory Thomas Taulbee of Avia photography taken at last year's gospel choir concert)

Look at what God did.

a prayer
by mazvita matsiga

Lord, I want you to be glorified in my life.
I want you to be glorified in me.

I want to look back and say, look at what God did…

You are the God of the impossible. You are the same God who walked with Abraham, the same God he put his hope in, when everything in his life was pointing him to believe it was against the odds.

Against all hope, Abraham in hope, believed.

Lord, I want to believe you.

I want you to be lifted high.

Let us praise His name in joy and pain.
Let us praise His name and give thanks for who He is, even if you do no more Lord.

Be glorified in me.
Let me look back and say,

Look

at what

God

did